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Heavy Freedom

Being married normally means someone is wondering where you are at all times. This is not the same as being single and having living parents. Singleness means answering the question of what to do today while marriage significantly reduces one’s freedom and generally requires less planning. Either way, maintaining a healthy body is work - as we age, nothing gets easier. Dating and romance become a distant memory.

My mom started a second life at fifty. She was free but unable to pay her bills - exciting for her and terrifying for her family. How she lived through odd jobs and boyfriends is anyone’s guess but that was Mom being her authentic self - scrappy and elusive. She was happiest when making her own decisions and answering to no one. Remarriage meant stability at the cost of being left at home alone like furniture until her fifth husband died. Shortly thereafter, she succumbed to mental and physical decline and her children had to make decisions for her.

Which path would you choose? While it's no fun to age alone, spending one's waking hours wondering "what if?" isn't living. My advice: stay single. Visit your parents frequently while you can. Travel in groups. Avoid binding life-long agreements. And most importantly, ignore professional sports. They make most of their money from trapped married people who are wasting their lives thirsting over rich young men playing games.

Get out there and play on your own.

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